


We're Not Actually Related

by ohanotherday



Category: Pacific Rim (2013)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - No Kaiju, M/M, Mentions of Underage, Miscommunication, Misunderstandings, Pining
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-21
Updated: 2013-12-21
Packaged: 2018-01-05 09:25:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,713
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1092286
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ohanotherday/pseuds/ohanotherday
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Chuck doesn’t have a crush on Raleigh, no matter what Mako thinks. Anyways, Raleigh is practically adopted, even if he isn’t really.</p>
            </blockquote>





	We're Not Actually Related

**Author's Note:**

> I feel like [this tumblr post](http://sweetraleighbecket.tumblr.com/post/70449566818) perfectly captures the essence of this fic. And thank you [TheSaurus](http://archiveofourown.org/users/TheSaurus) for putting up with all my ridiculous ideas and for letting me talk at you forever and ever about Pacific Rim.

At thirteen, Chuck really had no reason to associate with his next door neighbors. The Beckets were strange. He wasn’t sure what the parents did (possibly engineering), but the family traveled all the time. And then the kids weren’t really in Chuck’s age range. Yancy was eighteen, Raleigh was sixteen, and Jazmine was ten. He might’ve interacted with Jazmine at school if the Becket kids weren’t homeschooled. But even when he was home he didn’t feel like going outside. Chuck still hadn’t gotten used to Alaska despite living there for a few years, and he made it his mission to never get too attached to a place anywhere other than Sydney, Australia.

When Chuck’s mom died, the whole Becket family appeared for the funeral, and Dominique Becket brought over a new casserole each day for a week. Each of the kids had expressed their condolences to him during the reception, but Chuck had hated that more than anything, and hid away whenever the Beckets visited. He didn’t like their fake pity. Maybe they had talked to his mom or dad once or twice before his mom passed away, but just because they were neighbors didn’t mean they understood anything about him.

That had been a little over a year ago, and now Chuck sat in a church pew with his dad. Yancy and Raleigh sat up in the front while a priest went on and on about the inevitabilities of life and death. Chuck clenched his fists. The whole speech might’ve gone over a little better if it was for someone who died of old age, not about a mom and dad and little girl who died because of a drunk driver crashing into their car and causing them to die on impact. Chuck crossed his arms over his chest and spent the remainder of the service tuning everything out. He could see his dad giving him glares every now and then, but he pretended to ignore it.

While people walked toward the front of the church to pay their condolences, Chuck stayed motionless. It wasn’t until his dad tugged his arm that Chuck stood up.

His dad pressed through the crowd until they were outside in the fresh air. Chuck frowned. His dad had driven Yancy and Raleigh, and they probably would be stuck in the church for awhile listening to a bunch of people saying how sorry they were about the death of their parents and little sister.

Herc glanced down at Chuck. “Feel better out here?”

Chuck rolled his eyes and crossed his arms over his chest once more. “I’m fine,” he spat.

Herc nodded, then made an aborted move to pat Chuck on the shoulder. “I’m going to go grab those two boys from all the well wishers.” He shook his head. “They probably haven’t taken three steps from their original spots,” he sighed. “Stay right here.”

Chuck snorted. “It’s not like I have anywhere else to go.” Herc shot a glare at him, and Chuck wilted a tiny bit but he didn’t retract his statement.

\---

The reception was held at the Becket house, but for all intents and purposes, Herc was in charge of everything. It was probably for the best, considering he had planned his wife’s funeral and reception. Chuck sat in a corner in the living room with his plate of food. It all looked good, and he attempted to eat a few bites, but everything tasted like mush. Instead he held his plate limply in his hands and observed the other people.

Raleigh and Yancy sat across from him on a navy blue couch. It would’ve looked relatively normal if people weren’t constantly stopping in front of them and sharing some anecdote about Jazmine, Dominique, and Richard. Yancy smiled and nodded through the conversations, but Raleigh stared blankly at his hands for the most part, only giving brittle smiles and making eye contact with each guest at the end of each conversation. Thirty minutes into the reception, Yancy slung an arm over Raleigh’s shoulders, and Raleigh relaxed ever so slightly. He leaned into Yancy, and his smiles started looking less and less brittle over time.

Two hours into it, Chuck gave up on the rest of his food, checked to make sure his dad was occupied with host duties, and slipped out of the house. When he entered into his own home, the silence overwhelmed him, and he raced upstairs and into his room. There he yanked off his suit and changed into pajamas and promptly curled up underneath his blankets. He squeezed his eyes shut and ignored the lack of laughter and noise.

\---

When he woke up, his room was dark, and he could hear voices coming from downstairs. Chuck carefully stepped onto the floor. Stacker and Mako were in Hawaii for the next couple of weeks, so the options of who could be downstairs were pretty limited. He carefully opened up his door and walked toward the stairs. There he could hear clearly his dad talking with Raleigh and Yancy.

“Look,” Herc interrupted, “you can’t give up college. And you can’t take Raleigh with you. I’m sure you think it’ll be fine because you’re brothers, but that’s not how it works.”

There was a brief pause, and Chuck would’ve been surprised at his dad’s stern voice, but he had heard that tone before. Chuck was tempted to walk farther down the hallway and onto the stairs just to catch a glimpse of the Becket brothers’ faces.

“I’m not leaving my brother alone,” Yancy responded.

“I know. That’s why I’m letting you know that Raleigh should stay with me and Chuck. It’ll be better if he’s in a stable environment. I’m sure Chuck would be thrilled to have him here, and it wouldn’t be a hardship on us.”

Chuck rolled his eyes. He would be more thrilled if his dad _wasn’t_ offering Raleigh a place to stay for the next two years.

“Yeah,” Yancy sighed. “That probably would be for the best.”

“I’m right here,” Raleigh grumbled.

Chuck gave up all hopes of anonymity and poked his head around the corner. His dad sat in a chair while Raleigh and Yancy sat next to each other on the couch. They were still in their suits, but Raleigh had hunched in on himself, head lowered and arms crossed over his chest.

“Yeah, and what do you want to do?” Herc asked.

Raleigh shrugged. “I don’t want to impose,” he said quietly.

Herc nodded his head. He leaned over from his chair and placed a hand on Raleigh’s shoulder. “It’ll be fine, son.”

\---

Herc didn’t let Chuck have any input in the matter, and the next day was spent moving Raleigh’s belongings into the guest room. The rest of the Becket house was neatly packed up, and the majority of the belongings were placed into a storage unit. Chuck would ask why exactly they weren’t simply selling everything off, but then by mid morning, he had decided he would rather have nothing to do with Raleigh, and asking about their decisions would mean showing interest. Instead Chuck spent lunch sulking while Yancy detailed his college classes to Herc and Raleigh. Chuck sat next to his dad while the brothers sat across.

Eventually he scooted off of his chair and went to the restroom, but when he came back, his father was enraptured with whatever story the brothers were describing. Raleigh delivered the punch line, and Herc let out a loud, booming laugh.

Chuck pursed his mouth and marched forward, slamming a hand down on the table and interrupting the trio. “We ready to go now?” He asked.

Herc shot him a look, but he nodded. “The waitress just took our bill. Why don’t you have a seat?”

Chuck shook his head. “Nah, I’d rather not,” he replied, and went to wait in the sitting area near the door.

\---

Over the next few weeks, Chuck did his best to let his father and Raleigh know how less than thrilled he was to have Raleigh taking up space in their house. If they were heading out for school, Chuck would eat double the amount of cereal to make sure there was no milk left for Raleigh’s. When the three of them sat down for meals, Chuck made a point of it to kick Raleigh as often as possible. And if Raleigh and he were given a list of chores, Chuck made it a point to loudly proclaim when Raleigh was slacking off.

Unfortunately, nothing worked, and Raleigh simply wasn’t just going to disappear because Chuck despised him. If Raleigh couldn’t eat any cereal before school, Herc stopped at a fast food chain and bought him a meal. Regardless of how many times Chuck kicked Raleigh’s shins, Raleigh only pursed his lips, shot Chuck a glare, and curled his feet closer toward him. And no matter how many times Chuck ratted out Raleigh for not getting all the leaves off of the lawn or washing the dishes to sheer perfection, Herc just shrugged and asked Chuck if he wanted Raleigh’s chores as well.

In fact, the more Chuck showed his disdain for Raleigh, the more his dad treated Raleigh better. It was understandable, in a sense. Raleigh and Herc liked watching the same sports together, and unlike Chuck, Raleigh actually made an effort to talk at the dinner table. Herc even gave Raleigh permission to drive the extra car (in emergency situations) kept in the garage that used to belong to Chuck’s mom.

If Chuck was prone to fits of jealousy, he might’ve said that Herc would rather have had Raleigh as a son than him. Luckily, he wasn’t jealous, and he kept that bullshit possibility to himself.

It came to a head a month into their new living situation.

On Saturday nights, Chuck was used to his dad going out with Stacker. Prior to Raleigh’s presence, Stacker might come over with Mako, but now that Raleigh was there, he offered to be a babysitter.

Chuck spent most of the day reading in his room, but at around dinner time, he headed to the kitchen. Raleigh was already there pulling a pizza out of the oven. He nodded at Chuck. “If you grab us sodas, I’ll serve us a couple of slices.”

Chuck huffed, but he did as he was told. After Raleigh was seated, he coughed, making Chuck pause from eating. “Look, I know we’re not actually brothers—”

“Obviously,” Chuck interrupted.

“—and so I can’t make us magically act like Yancy and me,” Raleigh continued. “And I know we’re not going to suddenly start acting like Jazmine and me used to.” Chuck glanced downward. “But I’m not here because I begged. I don’t want to take your spot or make you feel like you’re not Herc’s favorite kid—”

“I’m his _only_ kid,” Chuck interjected.

Raleigh smiled, which only made Chuck frown. “Exactly. You know it, I know it, and Herc knows it.” Raleigh lowered his gaze. “I’m only here because if I went with Yancy, he would’ve been stuck with a clingy little brother constantly getting in the way of his life.” Raleigh shrugged a shoulder. “So if it’s possible, could we at least try to act cordial? We don’t have to put on a show of being a happy family, since we’re not, but how about just a little common decency?”

Chuck inhaled a breath through his nose before smirking. “You’re out of your mind.” He didn’t say anything else during the meal, but neither did Raleigh. If he didn’t kick Raleigh in the shins, it was only because he was too mentally drained from his book to do any sort of physical activity.

\---

School wasn’t very different with Raleigh. It did have some benefits, such as being able to borrow money from Raleigh whenever he wanted to buy soda or a bag of chips, but for the most part, they didn’t associate with each other. The school consisted of students grades eighth through twelfth, and with all the possible social circles, Chuck didn’t bother forming one with Raleigh.

It wasn’t until the fourth month of attending school with Raleigh that Chuck noticed Raleigh’s tendency to hang around the Wei triplets. It made sense, theoretically. Same classes, same age (separated by 13 days when Chuck decided to utilize Facebook), and same social circle.

And even then, it wasn’t until Chuck stumbled into the kitchen to see one of the triplets (Jin, he later learned), pressing Raleigh into the counter as he kissed him, that Chuck realized just how intimate Raleigh knew some of them. That alone wouldn’t have made Chuck panic and run back out. But Jin’s hand hidden underneath Raleigh’s waistband, and no doubt pressed against his crotch, had done the trick.

Chuck wouldn’t say he fled the kitchen, but he was out of breath by the time he was safe inside of his own room. After a few minutes, there was a tentative knock at the door.

“Chuck,” Raleigh started, “can I come in?”

Chuck would’ve preferred to repress the last ten minutes of his life and pretend he hadn’t seen anything. Accepting that Raleigh liked guys was fine, but seeing him one step away from some sexual act had been uncomfortable.

“Chuck,” Raleigh pleaded.

Chuck rolled his eyes, but he opened the door. Talking about emotions wasn’t something he or his dad did, but Raleigh liked to talk about emotions a lot. And after four months of living together, Chuck finally accepted that he sometimes had to let Raleigh have his moments.

Chuck whipped open the door. “Yeah?”

Raleigh gave a small smile, which would’ve seemed innocent in any situation where his lips weren’t swollen. As it was, he looked like a mess. Chuck frowned at his outfit. A crumpled, white t-shirt clung to Raleigh’s torso instead of a sweater. It wasn’t unusual per se, but Raleigh wore sweaters around the house, unless he was about to sleep, and then it was tank tops.

Chuck glanced back up and immediately dropped the frown when he saw anger rising in Raleigh’s eyes. “I’m not homophobic,” Chuck spat. “I’d just rather not walk into the kitchen when someone’s getting a handjob. You have a bedroom for a reason.”

Raleigh let out a shaky exhale. “Yeah, sorry.” Raleigh nodded. “Are you going to tell Herc?”

“Tell my dad I saw you with some guy’s hand down your pants?” Chuck grimaced. “Yeah, no thank you. If you feel the need to tell him about your sexual awakening, feel free.” He went to shut the door, but Raleigh’s hand stopped him.

“Thanks.”

Chuck rolled his eyes. “Thanks for years of horrible nightmares and future therapy,” Chuck replied.

\---

Ultimately, Chuck didn’t get nightmares of Raleigh getting handjobs from Jin Wei, but he did get a few recurring dreams that ended with him waking up and having to wipe come off his stomach. The first time it happened, he thought it was a fluke. But after two weeks of being unable to look Raleigh in the face, even he knew he needed some outside input. He knew enough about wet dreams to not have to go ask his father for a talk about the birds and the bees, but he still couldn’t decide if the fact that Raleigh was playing a starring dream in his roles actually meant something.

“It doesn’t,” Mako stated.

“Yeah, but what if you know the person? Does it mean something if they’re in your sex dreams?”

Mako pursed her lips, spreading her books farther across the kitchen table. His father was still at work, and Raleigh was hanging out at some friend’s house—probably the triplets’. Now was the only safe time to discuss this very sensitive topic. “Before we continue this conversation, I was not in your dreams, correct?”

Chuck slapped his hands over his face. “God, no. You’ve never been in them and I hope it stays like that.” When he removed his hands from his face, Mako was smiling.

“Good. Then who was in your dreams?”

Chuck glared at the wall behind Mako’s shoulder. “Nobody.”

“Was it Raleigh?”

“No,” Chuck scoffed. “Wasn’t him. I have better taste than him, thank you very much.”

Mako shrugged. “He seems nice. And helpful.” She tilted her head upward. “And surprisingly smart when he helped me with my Japanese project last week.”

“God, Mako. You sure you’re not the one with a crush?”

Mako let out a laugh. “I enjoy his company, but I am not hopelessly in love with him like you are.”

“I’m not hopelessly in love with him,” Chuck mumbled.

“I know,” Mako agreed amicably. “But you like him as more than a friend.”

“No. He’s practically adopted.” Chuck shook his head as if that settled the matter.

Mako raised an eyebrow. “But he’s not. Your father only obtained legal guardianship. You’re not actually related, if that’s what concerns you.”

“I’m not an idiot. I already knew that.”

“Then…?” Mako waited for Chuck to respond, but when he didn’t, she clasped her hands together and set them on the table. “Did you want me to give actual, helpful advice, or was I merely a source you could vent to and provide moral support?” Chuck didn’t say anything, and she sighed. “Did anything even trigger the dreams? Because if not, then I would say to move on and consider this phenomenon a function of puberty.”

Chuck’s felt his neck blush, and he ducked his head. He heard Mako gasp. The table creaked, and when he looked up, her face was inches away from his.

“Tell me,” she whispered.

Chuck pursed his lips together. Mako was just as bad as Raleigh with her need to talk about emotions. He’d say she was preparing for a career in psychology, but that wasn’t her passion and she definitely didn’t have the tact for that—or at least with him she didn’t. Maybe if people paid her she would.

“Chuck,” Mako hissed.

“I saw him and Jin Wei practically one step away from a handjob in my kitchen.”

Mako blinked at him. She sat up straight and attempted to school her face. “Jin?”

“Yeah,” Chuck nodded.

Her features immediately softened. “I’m sorry, Chuck.” She reached a hand across the table and placed it over Chuck’s. He allowed it, considering she was practically his sister in all but name. After a minute, he yanked his hand back.

“’s not a big deal. Just forget about it and do your homework,” he muttered.

\---

Chuck tried ignoring his crush on Raleigh, tried so very, very much, but it simply wouldn’t go away. Every time he thought he got it under control, Raleigh did something stupid like invite him to play hockey with his friends or hover while Chuck did homework and point out where Chuck went wrong. It was frustrating to no end, but Chuck found a nice balance of indifference and sarcasm to hide behind.

If his dad noticed, he didn’t mention it. Then again, his dad didn’t really ever make it a point to discuss anything. Sometimes Chuck hated that the most about only having one parent—being stuck with a dad who didn’t know how to show physical affection or talk or anything. His mom had always been the one who knew how to give hugs and how to say the right things. Every now and then Chuck would get upset over it and wish that his mom was here instead of his dad, but that usually ended up with him crying in the bathroom and trying to wash his face to get rid of the blotchiness.

But while his dad didn’t know how to talk about feelings, Herc did understand the importance of therapy. For a year after his mom died, Chuck went to see a psychologist every other Friday. Naomi Solokov was nice, always starting off each session by asking Chuck if he wanted hot chocolate, insisting she wanted one too even when Chuck tried to pretend he was too old for them. She worked with both adults and children, and her children’s room was filled with toys and books and games. Most of the time she played card games like Speed or War with Chuck. They never actually talked about much though. She tried getting him to talk, but if Chuck didn’t want to, she never pressured him.

Chuck would’ve felt bad about the financial expenses, but then again, he really didn’t care.

Raleigh, on the other hand, seemed to be getting a lot more out of his therapy sessions. He was talkative and energetic at home, always helpful and open. Eight months after the death of his parents and little sister, he seemed to have bounced back completely.

Chuck wasn’t jealous exactly, but he refused to buy it. Whenever his dad made a comment about Raleigh coming around, Chuck snapped and dismissed it as a façade. In hindsight, he probably should’ve just accepted it as fact, because seeing the truth of the matter was a lot more painful.

Usually Chuck didn’t stay up late and neither did his father. They were both in bed by 10 pm most nights while Raleigh had the bad habit of staying up long into the early morning hours. Chuck got used to sometimes waking up and being able to hear the low murmurs of Raleigh’s television even at 3 am, but it wasn’t too much of an issue.

But doors opening and floorboards creaking was something that concerned Chuck. He laid in bed for awhile after hearing the door to the garage open and close, spending a total of two minutes of debating before deciding to investigate.

He used the light from his phone to navigate his way, but when he opened the door to the garage, the lights were on. His dad and mom’s car always stayed inside there. At first glance, nothing seemed out of place, but then Chuck scrubbed his face and squinted his eyes. Raleigh sat huddled up in the driver’s seat of Chuck’s mom’s car.

Chuck let out a groan as he slipped on some shoes and walked over to the passenger side door. However, he wasn’t prepared for the amount of sobbing coming over from Raleigh.

“Shit,” Raleigh hissed. He curled away from Chuck and faced the window. He wiped his face with the sleeve of his t-shirt, snot and tears making a mess of everything before finally glancing at Chuck. “Did you need something?”

Chuck blinked. He hadn’t prepared himself for this. He had prepared himself to yell at Raleigh for taking the car for a spin this late at night, had prepared to tease about reckless behavior, had considered a few jokes about Jin Wei waiting up for him, but he hadn’t considered finding a sobbing Raleigh. Chuck shook his head. “No.” He eased his way into the car, mindful of Raleigh watching him.

“You should just go back inside.” Raleigh coughed. “It’s colder out here.”

“Okay,” Chuck agreed, even as he closed the car door.

Raleigh raised an eyebrow at him. “Seriously?”

“What?” Chuck shrugged a shoulder. “It’s my mom’s car. Even if my dad practically gave it to you. And especially since you never drive it.”

“Fine,” Raleigh huffed.

Chuck reclined his chair and flopped backward. He gazed out the window, briefly wondering if he should say something before deciding that Raleigh was the talker, and if he wanted to say something, he would.

Chuck was drifting back to sleep when Raleigh reclined his chair backward as well. “I should’ve been in that car,” he said quietly.

Chuck jerked his head toward Raleigh. “Hmm?”

“My family wanted me to go on this trip, but Yancy couldn’t go and I decided I didn’t want to go…” Raleigh let out a sigh. “And you know the rest.”

“Mhm.”  Chuck started shivering, and he brought his hands up to warm him. “It’s really cold out here.”

“Oh my god,” Raleigh laughed, startling Chuck awake. “How are you and your dad so bad at this?”

“Wha-”

“You guys never talk about something, just immediately switch topics.”

Chuck opened his eyes slowly. “Did you want me to stay on topic?”

“It’s fine,” Raleigh said. He gave Chuck a nudge. “It’s cold out here.”

Chuck forced himself to get out of the car, but before the two of them even opened the car doors, the door leading back into the house was yanked open. Herc blocked their path, but Chuck—too tired to properly walk straight—crashed into him. Herc steadied him with a hand. “What were you doing just now?”

“Raleigh was having a moment,” Chuck said flippantly. He shrugged his dad off with minimal effort and headed upstairs. Seconds later Raleigh and Herc followed.

\---

By the time Raleigh started applying to different colleges, Chuck and him had settled into a good rhythm. It had taken nearly two years, but eventually they found themselves as friends. So when Chuck realized Raleigh was seriously considering going to San Diego State, Chuck almost blew a gasket.

When Raleigh got accepted in March, Chuck knew Raleigh would probably only stay until June. By then he would want to head to California for the summer, and Yancy was already there attending SDSU, so it wasn’t like Raleigh even needed to go apartment hunting.

He had never planned to get attached to Raleigh, and he always expected Raleigh would go off to some other country or state for college, but it was the principle of the matter. And the principle was that Chuck didn’t want Raleigh to go.

Chuck lurked around for a couple of weeks, ignoring Mako and Herc’s concern, until he finally figured out what was his main problem with Raleigh going away. When he finally realized what he wanted, the answer seemed obvious. Despite the fact that Yancy still owned the house next door, there was almost no reason the Beckets would ever move back to Alaska. Raleigh followed Yancy everywhere, and nobody would bother with Alaska once they got a chance to live in Southern California. Once Raleigh left, he wouldn’t be coming back.

That realization in and of itself set off another chain of events, which ultimately led to Chuck deciding he was going to have sex with Raleigh in one way or another. The fact that he was fifteen and Raleigh was eighteen didn’t seem like _too_ big of a deal. Raleigh was sixteen when Chuck walked in on him almost getting a handjob from Jin Wei. In fact, whenever Herc wasn’t at the house, plenty of people found their way into Raleigh’s bedroom and into his pants. Once even Tendo and Alison came over for a “group project” which ended in Chuck leaving the house for a walk because the banging on the walls was too loud.

\---

Chuck spent the next few months doing his best to flirt. It wasn’t something he was used to, and it made conversations awkward sometimes, but Chuck persisted. Raleigh always blushed so pretty when he understood a euphemism Chuck had said. For the most part, the whole “operation get in Raleigh’s pants” was working. _Slowly_ working.

But Chuck never had time for patience. Raleigh would be gone and Chuck would be left here. He didn’t plan on going to California for college. The chances of him meeting up with Raleigh again were slim to none.

Saturday nights were still date nights for Chuck’s dad, but nowadays Raleigh and Chuck mostly hung out instead of one babysitting the other. Sometimes Mako came over, but Stacker trusted her to be by herself, and that was how Mako liked to spend her time.

The night Chuck planned to proposition Raleigh, he sent a text to Mako to clarify if she was or wasn’t coming over. She insisted she wasn’t, and Chuck went ahead with his plans.

After dinner, Raleigh and Chuck put on a movie to watch. Raleigh plopped popcorn into his mouth, but when he finished it, Chuck pulled the bowl away and set it on the coffee table. “Thanks,” Raleigh murmured. He settled farther into the pillows, not noticing the way Chuck was looking at him in the dark. When Chuck blocked Raleigh’s view of the television, Raleigh laughed and tried shoving Chuck away. When Chuck kissed him, Raleigh froze. Chuck spent a moment trying to coax Raleigh to kiss him back, but then Raleigh shoved him away.

“What the fuck?” Raleigh leaned backward, away from Chuck.

“I was just kissing you, Rals.” Chuck raised his eyebrows and scooted forward.

“You’re too young,” Raleigh sputtered. His arm reached out to keep Chuck from moving any closer.

“So? Doesn’t have to be anything serious.” Chuck leered at him. “We could just fool around a little bit.”

Raleigh shoved Chuck back hard. “Yeah, that’s not happening.”

“There are probably more people at school who’re in your grade and have fucked you than not,” Chuck snapped. “I don’t see why I’m so special.”

Raleigh’s spine straightened, and for a second Chuck braced himself for Raleigh to launch himself at him. Instead Raleigh tilted his head. “Sorry you think I’m such a slut,” he said. Chuck’s eyes widened, but before he could think of something to counter it, Raleigh continued. “But clearly if that’s your take on the matter, then you really are too immature.” He stood up, jerking out of Chuck’s hold when Chuck grabbed his arm. “Don’t,” Raleigh warned. He glared at Chuck for a moment before retreating to his bedroom.

When Raleigh’s door slammed shut, Chuck slammed his fist against the wall. It didn’t leave a dent, but his wrist connected at an awkward angle, and he was left reeling from the pain of it.

\---

Raleigh left Alaska at the end of June. At the airport he gave Herc a hug, but Chuck refused to uncross his arms until the very last minute. When he finally did drop his hands, Raleigh tentatively wrapped his arms around him before pulling back and smiling at both Hansens.

“Thanks,” Raleigh said. His smile seemed to stretch as wide as possible, and he rocked on his feet and gave Herc and Chuck a nod. When he boarded, Raleigh did so without looking back.

“What was that all about?” Herc questioned afterward, but Chuck shrugged it off and made his way back to the car.

\---

Chuck never bothered deleting Raleigh off of his Facebook friends list, but he never messaged Raleigh either. Sometimes he went through Raleigh’s pictures or his statuses, but that was only when he got bored. For the most part, Raleigh disappeared from Chuck’s life for the next few years.

It wasn’t until the summer after Chuck’s first year of college that the Becket brothers came back to Alaska for a camping trip.

Herc and Yancy had made the main arrangements. Yancy had long since started renting out his family’s old house to people, meaning Yancy and Raleigh would need a place to stay. The Becket brothers would be crashing on the couch and the guest room for a couple of nights before going farther up north.

The Beckets flew in during the middle of the night, and Chuck refused to leave his house to go pick them up from the airport with Herc. He slept in, and when he did tumble downstairs, the three men were cooking breakfast in the kitchen.

Yancy looked the same, but he had always been tall and imposing in Chuck’s memory. Raleigh, on the other hand, had filled out. Raleigh had always been athletic, but he was lanky in comparison to how he looked now. Muscles filled out Raleigh’s frame, but he still walked with the same jaunty swagger.

Chuck grunted at Yancy and Raleigh’s greetings, and he proceeded to pile his plate full of scrambled eggs and potatoes. He added a few slices of bacon for good measure.

After Raleigh left to California, Herc had gotten Chuck a bulldog. Chuck tried not to think it was because he was moping around, but regardless, Max was perfect. Once Chuck sat down at the table, he slipped a slice of bacon to the bulldog.

“Cute dog,” Yancy smiled.

Chuck rolled his eyes. “Thanks,” he grumbled. He proceeded to tune out most of the conversation. It wasn’t until Herc loudly called his name that Chuck looked up again.

“What?” Chuck grouched.

“I said, ‘you sure you don’t want to go camping with them?’” Herc raised his eyebrows.

Raleigh smiled at him. “It’s not like you’d be taking up space in the car.”

“Well thank you, _Raleigh_ ,” Chuck said patronizingly. “But I quite like running water and electricity and indoor plumbing. So no thanks.”

Yancy and Raleigh exchanged a look. “Well if you change your mind in a couple of days, the offer will still be on the table,” Yancy insisted.

Chuck hummed. “Answer’s still going to be the same.” He pushed away from the table, ignoring the looks from the table as he dumped his dishes into the sink. “Come on, Max,” Chuck called out as he left the kitchen.

\---

When Chuck had applied to the University of Alaska Anchorage, he considered moving out and living in the dorms, but then he couldn’t really leave Max here all alone with his dad, and so he stayed.

In some aspects, it was fine. Chuck drove his mom’s old car around, using it to go back and forth from school and coffee shops and fast food restaurants. He enjoyed not having a roommate or paying for a meal plan. And it meant being able to keep his room exactly how he liked it.

But it also meant being stuck living with his dad instead of peers. Living in the residence halls would’ve meant a nice group of assigned friends, at least in the beginning of the school year. Eventually he would’ve been able to branch out and associate with more like-minded people. But living off campus meant if he wanted friends, he had to join clubs and go to socials. It wasn’t too bad being friendly, but it was a lot of work.

But having peers nearby also would’ve meant someone who would understand rudeness during midterms and finals week. They would’ve accepted that dishes wouldn’t get done immediately because it wasn’t at the top of his priorities. They wouldn’t pester like they were the boss of him. They wouldn’t give long lectures on living in their house and having to live by their rules.

If Chuck lived on campus, he might not have to deal with his dad’s snooping. Herc’s ability to talk and discuss things like an actual adult hadn’t gotten better, but he always did like to pry.

Chuck was in the middle of another set of pushups when his dad entered the bedroom. Chuck paused mid-pushup and glanced up.

“Chuck.”

“Dad.”

When his dad didn’t say anything else, Chuck continued his workout.

Herc let out a sigh and moved farther into the room. He tapped his foot a few times against the floor, as if he was somehow going to annoy Chuck into talking first. “Is there a reason you’ve been hiding out in your room?”

“No,” Chuck scoffed.

“Doesn’t have anything to do with Raleigh?”

Chuck sneered. Raleigh with his abs and biceps and quadriceps and face. “No.”

Max waddled over from his dog bed in the corner of the room. He yapped a few times, and finally Herc kneeled down on one knee to pet him. “Okay,” Herc sighed. If he didn’t sound so defeated, Chuck might’ve smirked in triumph. Instead Chuck held his gaze on Max.

\---

Chuck had expected any time spent in Raleigh’s presence would be filled with Raleigh constantly judging him for his little stunt from a few years ago, but Raleigh never brought it up. He treated Chuck exactly like how he had before Chuck had tried getting in his pants, and Yancy had always been friendly in general.

Chuck still felt his face burn with embarrassment every time he thought about Raleigh’s rejection. Sometimes when he really dwelled on it, it hurt. He made up excuses for why Raleigh had been so affronted. Could’ve easily been Chuck’s age. Chuck had always considered himself intelligent, and he knew he and Raleigh shared some of the same interests. If it had been looks, well, Chuck was still developing. A little more time at the gym and he’d catch up just as easily. But it just seemed like he wasn’t good enough for the great Raleigh Becket, and that thought burned. He didn’t pester Raleigh about it, preferring to repress it all.

Up until the last night of the Beckets’ visit, everything seemed to be going well.

When Chuck walked downstairs to get more water, he didn’t think anything of it when he saw Yancy alone in the living room watching TV. Chuck forewent turning on the hallway light, but he paused when he heard low, slightly angry talking in the kitchen.

Chuck didn’t bother peeking in; he knew the only people who could be in there were his dad and Raleigh.

“Can you just tell me why Chuck won’t stay in the same room as you?”

“Uh.”

Chuck strained to hear, pressing his back up close against the wall.

“Raleigh,” Herc growled, “tell me.”

Raleigh let out a sigh, and Chuck could just picture Raleigh shaking his head as he tried to gather his thoughts. “Before I left for California, Chuck kissed me.” Chuck heard his dad startle, but Raleigh continued talking. “I pushed him away and told him it wasn’t happening, and he I guess he hasn’t forgiven me.”

Chuck sucked in a breath of air. He had hoped this secret would be going with him to his grave, but apparently that wouldn’t be the case. His dad wasn’t saying anything, and Chuck took the time to try to steady his heartbeat.

“Are you lying?” Herc quietly asked.

“No sir,” Raleigh answered. He sounded pathetic and contrite, and the little shit was probably looking like some lost little lamb begging for forgiveness for wandering away from the herd. “You should probably ask Chuck about it.”

Chuck heard some rustling, and he chanced a peek. Herc was patting Raleigh’s shoulder. “Thanks for being honest.”

Chuck stumbled away before he could be seen. He tried not to seem too suspicious in front of Yancy, but Yancy had passed out on the couch.

When he got upstairs, he quietly shut the door and looked around for Max. Sometimes the bulldog had the habit of yanking a jacket and cuddling up underneath his bed. Sure enough, as soon as Chuck squatted down, there was his dog. Chuck slowly pulled the jacket toward him, and Max followed.

“Come here,” Chuck whispered. He picked Max up and carefully sat down on the bed. Only the TV emitted any light in his bedroom, but Chuck shut that off as soon as he found the remote. Max curled up into Chuck’s side, nuzzling his face against Chuck’s hand until he started petting him. “I’m in deep shit,” Chuck sighed.

\---

Long after the Becket brothers left, Chuck was still waiting for Herc to lecture him. Chuck imagined how it would go. Probably something like, “How could you be so stupid? Raleigh’s too old for you, and I would’ve had to put a bullet through his head if he had accepted your advances,” but Chuck wouldn’t know. Sometimes it felt like his dad was on the cusp of bringing it up, trying to build up a conversation toward it, but it never actually happened.

Herc stayed silent on the matter, and Chuck slowly took the silence as disapproval and disappointment. Chuck had hated Raleigh back when he was fifteen and left alone on the couch, but his rage magnified. Not only had Raleigh rejected him, but he had to go ahead and let Herc know what a monumental failure his son was.

\---

After graduation, Chuck moved to an apartment. He hated Alaska. Hated the cold and everything it had to offer, but he wouldn’t know what to do if he went back to Australia. The University of Alaska Anchorage was decent enough, and he got a job in mechanical engineering with a minimal amount of searching, so he shrugged and accepted his stupid fucking fate of living in a boring city.

It had been five years since Chuck had seen Raleigh, so when Herc called him to tell him Raleigh was back in town, Chuck was a little gob smacked. Raleigh hadn’t moved back into the old Becket house, as the Becket brothers were still renting it out, but he was living in an apartment in the city.

“You should stop by and say hi,” Herc insisted.

Chuck had shrugged and mumbled something that temporarily appeased his dad, but he had no plans of actually following through. Reminiscing with Raleigh was something Chuck wasn’t interested in doing.

Which of course was why he ended up running into Raleigh at a bar. Chuck was planning on meeting Mako somewhere in there. She had gone off to the east coast for school, and seeing as how she was in graduate school, the amount of time they saw each other was limited.

Chuck sidestepped past a few other patrons, but then his gaze landed on a much older Raleigh. Chuck ducked his head to spy if Mako was nearby, and sure enough, there she was sitting at the same table as him.

Instead of storming out, Chuck straightened his coat and pressed onward. He smirked as he strode over to them. When he got to the table, he noisily pulled out a chair, disrupting the conversation. He sat down, placed his elbow on the table, and rested his chin on his hand. “That’s fascinating, Mako,” he mock whispered.

Mako’s mouth twisted into a smile. “Chuck,” she acknowledged. She ran her hand through Chuck’s hair, messing it up and making him rear back. “You’re too cheeky.”

Raleigh laughed as Chuck tried to rearrange his hair into some semblance of order. “Agreed,” he said conspiratorially to Mako.

“Ugh, whatever,” Chuck muttered. He gave his hair one last swipe before readjusting his tie. “Tell me you ordered me a drink.”

Exchanging a grin with Raleigh, Mako shrugged a shoulder. “Perhaps.”

\---

When Mako called it a night, Chuck nodded, and Raleigh asked if she was actually okay to drive. She only had a glass of wine earlier, but she smiled and reassured Raleigh she would be fine.

During the evening, Chuck had spent his time studying Raleigh and trying to decide where they stood. College had been good to Chuck, and not only had his physical appeal increased, but so had his confidence. It wasn’t that hard finding a willing bed partner who would swoon over his looks, and while it had possibly gone to his head a little bit, he knew he was attractive. If something competitive flared up inside of Chuck, it wasn’t his fault. Raleigh, his teenage crush, sat across from him, laughing and smiling and acting like he had never broken Chuck’s heart. It twisted Chuck’s insides, and his grins turned wolfish and leery.

In hindsight, he wasn’t sure what he was expecting, but Raleigh being immediately receptive to Chuck’s advances wasn’t at the top of the list. Chuck had sort of expected it a little, figured he might be able to flirt enough and get somewhere eventually and turn the situation on Raleigh, but getting invited back to Raleigh’s apartment _that_ night hadn’t been his immediate guess. Getting to strip Raleigh down and fuck him into the mattress hadn’t even seemed tangible.

But it happened. Chuck ran his fingers through Raleigh’s hair and yanked hard enough to elicit a moan, and when it was over Chuck couldn’t help himself from collapsing in a sweaty heap on the bed. He took off the condom and twisted it into a knot and tossed it near the trashcan, but past that, he was spent. _Five more minutes of rest,_ Chuck promised himself as he shut his eyes, and then he’d leave.

When he opened his eyes again, he was freezing. He felt around for his blankets, and only halfway flailed when he realized something was wrapped around him. He didn’t elbow Raleigh in the face, but it was a close thing. Chuck tried to make his heartbeat go back to normal while he tried not to panic.

Chuck scrubbed at his eyes, trying to wake himself up a little bit, but he felt like shit and was still cold. The clock near the bed read 4:35 am. This time when Chuck sat up to grab the blankets, he ignored Raleigh’s grip. Raleigh clung regardless of how Chuck moved, throwing a leg over Chuck’s at one point. By the time Chuck located the edge of the covers and pulled them over him, Raleigh was laying halfway on top of him.

Chuck let out a grunt. Raleigh being cuddly was not part of the plan. Chuck only wanted to fuck him and ditch him in an attempt to prove that Raleigh had been missing out, and Raleigh being weirdly affectionate—even in his sleep—wasn’t helping Chuck’s moral conscience.

Chuck attempted to push Raleigh off, but Raleigh was stronger and clung tightly, rubbing his face against Chuck’s neck before letting out a sigh and relaxing again.

“Oh my god,” Chuck groaned. He tried falling asleep while the human octopus stayed attached to him, but in the morning Chuck woke up, found his clothes quickly, and aggressively left before breakfast.

\---

Mako texted Chuck the next day. When he went to meet her for lunch, Raleigh wasn’t there, and Chuck felt an immediate sense of relief. He spent a total of two minutes thinking he would be able to keep this little secret to himself when Mako reached across the table to pinch his arm.

“So are you telling me what happened last night, or will I need to ask Raleigh?” She blinked a few times before smiling. “You know he can’t lie to me.”

Chuck shrugged a shoulder. “What do you think?”

“I think you left with him,” Mako sighed. “And I think you’re not going to tell me despite being my stepbrother.”

Scrunching up his face, Chuck leaned back. “Well why would you want details then?”

“So I can figure out if I should tell you or Raleigh to behave,” Mako answered simply. She nodded her head toward the server when he set down their plates of food, ending that portion of the conversation.

\---

By the time Mako left in September, Chuck and Raleigh had hooked up more times than Chuck could even remember. Sometimes twice a week, sometimes three. Mako ignored it for Chuck’s sake, but she let him know just how concerned she was. Chuck never discussed with Raleigh what they were doing, but he was 90% positive Raleigh and Mako had talked.

Regardless, Chuck made sure sex never happened in his own apartment. Bringing that into his house wasn’t something he wanted. Max didn’t need to see any of that.

But Chuck always got stuck getting cuddled by Raleigh. Chuck let it happen. If Raleigh wanted to get emotionally attached, so be it. If Raleigh wanted to kiss him slowly, fine, Chuck could work with that. He swore it wasn’t getting to him, but Raleigh’s little quirks were exhausting. He kept trying to make Chuck breakfast, and while that wasn’t bad, it just seemed like too much.

Chuck buttoned up his shirt while Raleigh smiled up at him from the bed. “Pancakes? Waffles? Oatmeal and fruit?” Raleigh sat up, letting the blankets pool in his lap. “You really don’t like eating breakfast?” He shook his head. “Everyone likes breakfast.”

“I like it,” Chuck snapped. “I just don’t want to eat it with you.”

“What?”

After repeatedly trying and failing to fix his tie, Chuck yanked it off. He folded it and shoved it into his pocket. “I’m tired of you trying to make me breakfast. This isn’t real. We’re just fucking. It doesn’t mean anything.”

Raleigh stilled, and Chuck clenched his jaw, but then Raleigh nodded his head. “Okay.” He pushed the blankets away, and Chuck looked away while Raleigh slipped on a pair of boxers.

When Raleigh walked into the living room, Chuck followed. He grabbed his jacket from the couch. The lock clicked open before Chuck even got his shoes laced up. Raleigh wasn’t glaring or yelling, but he had his hand on the doorknob, waiting to open it as soon as Chuck was ready.

“See ya around, Becket,” Chuck said.

Raleigh tilted his head. “Sure.”

\---

When Chuck left, it sort of felt like a breakup. But he had said what he wanted to say, so he suppressed any feelings of guilt. He had always planned to do this to Raleigh. This just happened a little sooner than expected.

Chuck didn’t call Raleigh for a few days because of work, but when he finally did, Raleigh didn’t answer. It wasn’t unusual considering Raleigh had an odd work schedule, but when four days passed without any response, Chuck started spending more time glaring at his phone than paying attention to his job.

Without Raleigh to keep him entertained, Chuck worked out in his spare room. He put Max on the treadmill, and he put himself next to the weights. Burning off anger through exercise worked well for Chuck.

He tried not to blow up over the whole thing. It was nice sleeping at his own place each night instead of someone else’s. Max kept him company when he was home, and the bulldog didn’t take up the entire bed. And in the mornings, Chuck was able to eat his breakfast in peace.

Even with all those perks, Raleigh’s lack of communication started to get to him. When they had lived together when they were younger, Raleigh never used the silent treatment. He was either patient, willing to compromise, or just cut something out of his life altogether without thinking twice of the consequences.

Thinking about getting cut out of Raleigh’s life wasn’t very pleasant. Chuck had planned on breaking Raleigh’s heart, and while that wasn’t the most mature thing, he had done it. The only problem was it felt a little like the other way around. He had spent enough nights getting dinner with Raleigh, and in a sense, it did feel a little bit more than ‘just fucking.’ Considering Chuck was no longer a fifteen year old kid anymore, he wanted explanations.

After two weeks (two weeks and four days, to be exact) of hearing nothing from Raleigh, Chuck spent another night eating dinner at home alone. Max paced underneath his feet, and Chuck sliced up a few pieces of steak for him. “That’s all you’re getting,” Chuck insisted, but he cut up a few more pieces and set them aside just in case Max started to whine again.

When he finished his food, Chuck washed his dishes and set them in the dish rack. He checked Max’s food and water bowls, and then made sure the stepladder was up against the bed in case Max wanted to sleep there instead of his dog bed.

Chuck sat down on the floor and pulled Max into his lap. “Be a good boy, okay.” He pressed a kiss against the top of Max’s head. “I’ll be right back.” Before Chuck locked up, he made sure a few lights were left on for his dog.

\---

About ten seconds after parking in front of Raleigh’s apartment, Chuck began rethinking his plan. It was a stupid plan, and he regretted it all at once. Nevertheless, he opened the car door and proceeded. Dumb plans without any foresight were a Hansen family trait.

When he got to Raleigh’s door, Chuck took a few breaths and then knocked. He couldn’t hear anything from the other side of the door, but then he heard footsteps. After a few seconds, Chuck went to knock again, but then the door started to open.

Raleigh kept the door open only enough so that he could fit his own body in the passage. Raleigh raised his eyebrows. “Yeah?”

Chuck frowned, glancing away before crossing his arms over his chest. “You going to invite me in?”

Raleigh pursed his lips. Instead of giving a verbal response, he gave a small head nod and opened the door. The apartment was so much warmer than the hallway, and instantly Chuck felt himself sweating. He unzipped his jacket and shucked it off, but he couldn’t decide if he should put it on the coat stand or hold it. Raleigh made the decision for him, taking the coat and hanging it up. For a moment Chuck thought Raleigh wasn’t completely furious at him, but then Raleigh turned to look at him. Raleigh hid his anger well, but it was still there in the eyes.

Chuck crossed his arms once more. “So what’s got you so wound up?” He narrowed his eyes at Raleigh. “Why can’t you do casual sex?” He dropped his arms and placed his hands on his waist. “You were fine with that kind of stuff in high school.”

Raleigh clenched his jaw. His hands weren’t making themselves into fists, so Chuck considered that a win. “In case you didn’t realize it, I wasn’t sleeping with everyone in high school because it made me happy,” Raleigh replied.

Chuck’s eyes darted back up to Raleigh’s face.

“I just sort of…” Raleigh continued, “Just sort of used it to ignore things. I don’t do casual sex anymore.”

Chuck scrubbed a hand over his face. That actually made a lot of sense. He had wondered how Raleigh was able to handle the death of his mom, dad, and sister so well. He had assumed there were other middle of the night breakdowns, but Chuck never dwelled too much on it. Frowning, Chuck glanced at Raleigh. “Well what was sleeping with me then?”

Raleigh shrugged. “I don’t know. Just thought it would be different with you.”

Chuck startled, wincing without realizing it until he noticed Raleigh start to glare at him. He hated it when he realized he was being more of a douchebag than necessary. He had accepted long ago that he was sometimes a shitty person who made shitty decisions, but this took the cake.

Suddenly interested in the hardwood floors, Chuck scratched his chin. “I’m sorry,” he half-mumbled. He never did learn how to make heartfelt apologies, and he hoped Raleigh would somehow accept it. Chuck coughed a few times. He wished he had his chapstick with him; his lips were so dry that he wiped a hand over them just to attempt to numb them a little. Another thought hit him, and Chuck glanced up. Raleigh was still watching him. “Well, so what, you wouldn’t fuck me back when we lived together, but now you’ll fuck me because you think I’m different from others?”

Still looking a little pissed off, Raleigh crinkled his eyes. “Seriously? You were a kid. And I was going to a college halfway across the country. Saying ‘no’ when you were fifteen wasn’t because of your looks or whatever you think.” He let out a huff of air. It could’ve passed for a laugh, but Chuck wasn’t going to start assuming anything at the moment. “It was just the reasonable thing to tell someone who’s underage.”

Chuck rolled his shoulders. “Well fine. I can work with your new demands then,” he replied, as if he really couldn’t stand the idea of dating Raleigh. “You’re a cuddler and you take up too much of the bed, but whatever.”

The corners of Raleigh’s mouth quirked. “Really?”

“Yeah,” Chuck huffed. “And you kiss too slow. And you have the bad habit of getting too romantic. It’s disgusting.”

Raleigh took a step forward and cupped Chuck’s face. He leaned in, his gaze darting between Chuck’s eyes and mouth a few times. When their lips met, Raleigh went slow, opening up Chuck’s mouth like he had all the time in the world. Raleigh’s left hand moved to the back of Chuck’s head, and he could feel Raleigh’s fingers carding through his hair. When Chuck tried deepening the kiss, Raleigh’s fingers tightened.

Raleigh pulled away, but his hand kept Chuck steady. In retaliation, Chuck reached out and grabbed Raleigh by the waist, pulling him closer. “Like that?”

“Yeah,” Chuck grumbled. “Exactly like that. Too fucking romantic.”

\---

This time after they had sex, Chuck didn’t complain too much when Raleigh cuddled him. When the sunlight peeked through the curtains in the morning, Chuck woke up grumbling. Raleigh was still pressed up against him, but his eyes were open as well, giving Chuck a questioning look. “At least you don’t snore,” Chuck observed.

Raleigh let out a chuckle. “You snore.”

“What?” Chuck pulled back as far as Raleigh would let him. “Since fucking when?”

“Since always.”

Chuck scrunched up his face. “How would you even know? You sleep like the dead.”

“Nope, I’m a light sleeper.” Raleigh quirked an eyebrow. “Don’t worry, I think it’s cute.”

“How is snoring cute?”

Raleigh closed his eyes. “Well maybe it’s not _cute_ exactly. But if someone snores, you can move around more without worrying they’re awake and annoyed. And when they do wake up, you know it.”

“So you like people who snore because it means you can creep easily?”

“Yep.” Raleigh waggled his eyebrows. “You’ve figured it out.”

Chuck groaned and wrapped an arm over Raleigh. “Normal people don’t like snoring.”

“Well then it’s a good thing you’re dating me.”

Twenty minutes later, they found themselves in the kitchen. Raleigh used to make Sunday brunches when they lived together, but apparently he had expanded his list of breakfast items from bacon and scrambled eggs.

Chuck hated to admit it, but breakfast with Raleigh was really good. He wouldn’t mind more of these kinds of mornings. They’d have to start doing this at his apartment, so Max wouldn’t have to be home alone all the time. When he said it out loud, Raleigh smiled and agreed.

As Chuck chewed a bite of waffle, he glanced up at Raleigh. “My dad’s going to love this. He always liked you better.”

Raleigh smirked. “Herc always thought you and I would be good together.”

 

 


End file.
